The following is an excerpt from the transcript of Stephen

Colbert's June 3, 2006, Commencement Address at

Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois.

…So I'll try to give you some advice. First of all, when you go to apply

for your first job, don't wear these robes.

Medieval garb does not instill confidence in

future employers -- unless you're applying to be

a scrivener. And if someone does offer you a job,

say yes. You can always quit later. Then at least

you'll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one

of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing.

So, say “yes.” In fact, say “yes” as often as you

can. When I was starting out in Chicago, doing

improvisational theatre with Second City and

other places, there was really only one rule I

was taught about improv. That was, “yes-and.” In

this case, “yes-and” is a verb. To “yes-and.” I

yes-and, you yes-and, he, she or it yes-ands. And

yes-anding means that when you go onstage to

improvise a scene with no script, you have no

idea what's going to happen, maybe with someone

you've never met before. To build a scene, you

have to accept. To build anything onstage, you

have to accept what the other improviser

initiates on stage. They say you're doctors --

you're doctors. And then, you add to that: We're

doctors and we're trapped in an ice cave. That's

the “-and.” And then hopefully they “yes-and” you

back. You have to keep your eyes open when you do

this. You have to be aware of what the other

performer is offering you, so that you can agree

and add to it. And through these agreements, you

can improvise a scene or a one-act play. And

because, by following each other's lead, neither

of you are really in control. It's more of a

mutual discovery than a solo adventure. What

happens in a scene is often as much a surprise to you as it is to the audience.

Well, you are about to start the greatest

improvisation of all. With no script. No idea

what's going to happen, often with people and

places you have never seen before. And you are

not in control. So say “yes.” And if you're

lucky, you'll find people who will say “yes” back.

Now will saying “yes” get you in trouble at

times? Will saying “yes” lead you to doing some

foolish things? Yes it will. But don't be afraid

to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young

and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to

the ways of the world are mostly just cynics.

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the

farthest thing from it. Because cynics don't

learn anything. Because cynicism is a

self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world

because we are afraid it will hurt us or

disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying

“yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things

grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is

for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say "yes."

Call 513-9737 or email jodi@jodi-cohen.com to register for classes and workshops.